So today I realized something. (Or maybe it was last night, but if so I remembered it when I woke up. So that means it must be important.) I realized that I can't just hang out in this hotel and waste my fame and fortune. Though at this point my fortune consists of what I get by selling the room service I get for free to other customers in the hotel, and the occasionally hobo. (the word is spreading that you get room service for half price if you pay in cash in room 315.)
But I need to use my fame for something good. I'm the only person in the world who was the third person voted off this specific reality TV show. Crunch is one of a kind. So I'm going to take up a cause, and try to change things, like Bono, Puff Diddy, or the first lady.
I am officially announcing Crunch's March for Legalization.
That's right, I am using my fame to sponsor a march to legalize everyone's favorite smokable illegal substance. (and by substance, I mean plant.) We must rise up, and free Mary Jane from her cage of Tyranny and oppression.
Also we can get stoned as all get out. (and if you've ever partied with 'all get out' he is crazy stoner.)
this is how the march will work.
EVERY DAY I, Kyle, Crunch, (last name removed for privacy reasons) will represent you, my trusted fans, as I wake up and MARCH, not walk, from my bed to the bathroom. And take a piss on the proverbial face of our oppressors. (also in the toilet)
And I don't care how loud my marching is, or how many people's sleep I disturb at 1:30 in the afternoon as I crawl out of bed to the early morning rays of the sun. I will MARCH for legalization, and I hope you march with me.
(to clarify, I mean march with me in a rhetorical more abstract sense. I don't actually want you next to me that might get a bit awkward when I'm peeing at the end of the 20 second march.)
p.s. Today I wrapped a hot dog in a quesadilla. It was amazing.
p.p.s. Andy's in the room across the hall, I'm gonna go steal his My Little Pony dvd's again...