Crunch blog - issue 1

The Crunch-o-licious is back, and in interweb form.

I know many fans were sad when I got voted off, but don't be. As awesome as being on Housemates was, not being on Housemates is even better!

When I got voted off I was all sad, cause I figured I'd just cease to exist. Like everybody else who gets voted off a reality TV show. But then they're like “Okay, well we'll provide lodging for the rest of the duration of the show, unless you want to go home.” But I got into this whole Housemates thing to avoid paying rent in the first place, so now it's basically the same thing, except I don't have to do immunity challenges anymore! So I'm totally stoked!

Though I don't get to nail Kristen anymore either, but I always felt dirty knowing Matt had already been there anyway.

So anyway, I'm chillin in this hotel, which even has free cable. Speaking of which I finally saw Basic Instinct, and I kinda feel bad for that movie. Cause it doesn't really work these days anymore, anyone who's seen CSI is like 'they had sex, get a DNA sample, this movie would be over in 10 minutes.' Of course that only has enough reason to get Sharon Stone naked once.

But the hotel is sweet. Premium channels means that I get to catch up on movies. Plus some of the other Housemates stuck around too. Sufjan and I have chilled a couple times, though he always wants to cuddle. I'm not really into that. Which reminds me about the other sweet thing about being off Housemates. No more cameras.

Which means that I don't need to worry about getting caught... littering... or anything. Also I can finally stop making overly dramatic movements in hopes of my shots editing better than all the other Housemates. (Maybe I didn't win, but that was a good strategy.)

Oh, also... why didn't anyone tell me there was prize money involved? I totally would've tried to get along with people better if I had known that.

Anyway, there's a 'Tremors' marathon coming on the Sci-Fi channel in like 10 minutes. So I'm gonna go grab myself some chips, order some pizza from room service, have a little me time, and enjoy the ride.

... I wonder if Lavender is around here somewhere.